alhamdulillah...1 more exam to go...yay!!!

salam...
letih teramat rasanya badan hari ni,tp ntah knapa still rs nak buat bnda2 lain selain dr tidur...(owh,mmg bnyk kerja lain pun,cthnya buat task epidemiology, course work mahupun mmbaca psm), tp x satu pun lg yg dibuat,walaupun dah nak dkt pukul 12tgh mlm,huhu...juz want 2 spoil myself after a loooooonnnng day today...n alhamdulillah,syukur yg x thingga,akhirnya habis jugak psychiatry(dah simpan buku2,plan xnak tgk dah,huhu,yes,i noe teruk,kan?)

so,utk spoil kan diri td,smpt la masak nasi goreng(guna perencah seri aji je), n ayam n cauli flower goreng tepung...suka hati,yippeee,hihi,mkn bnyk,pastu komplen2 berat naik,bagus betui...

n lps dah pergi pulangkan buku2 yg dipinjam(thanx yan n kuji), balik bilik konon nak studi la,belek2 ym, pas2 rs nak menulis pulak blog(walaupun menurut kata nas,btui jugak la kot,yg hnya ada 3 org je yg baca blog ni,hihi,xpe la,at least ada gak yg mmbaca,or at least paling tidak xdak orang baca pun,xpe la,it's juz a medium for me to canalize my problem(like wat vera vladimirovna,d psychiatry doctor said in class), as my emotion capacity is not very big,hihi,ok,i noe dah merepek dah ni)

n 2moro pun still ada lg kls sampai pukul 6 ptg kot,ok,semangat raihan...b strong...

:-p

ok,n sepanjang bljar psychiatry hari tu, i noticed several things...hihi,i thought i used to experience REACTIVE DEPRESSION la dulu....dulu2 xtau pulak...but actually i noticed yg kalau ada apa2 jadik,i will not feel bad or really sad immediately, it will take me some times to feel sad, n in certain cases feel guilty... bagi cth skit la ye...cthnya;dulu masa drjh 6,my beloved grandmother(i called her mak tok) passed away,n when i received the news(i juz returned from school,out of no where my ayah told me that my grandmother juz passed away around 11 am...at honestly at that very moment,i felt,unexplained,it's cruel to say that i felt nothing,but definitely not that sad,owh,probably shocked...n the moment that my tears shattered was when d jenazah arrived,n d feeling that time was uncontrollable(i can feel the tears now,huhu,yes,i'm still emotional when this topic is mentioned),n to be short,i felt sick the day after...i really touched me that i actually caught a fever d week before she left us...n the fact that she looked after me for that 1 week,i still remember it vividly...(owh,n i'm crying again now)...n d fact that i never really had the chance to apologize for the terrible things i had done during my childhood, that i irritated her in some childish behaviour,i'm really sorry,what can i do now,is juz to pray for her...mudah2an rohnya sentiasa dicucuri rahmatNYA...al-fatihah...
n utk sambung cerita, 1 month after that,my grandfather(i called him tok ayah),passed away jugak,i thought may be because he missed his wife so much,+ some other somatic disease,which i'm not aware of...n after these events, everytime i spoke about them(particularly of my grandmother), i will cry,it's juz spontaneous...it has been 10 years since then,n i never ever forget them,bcoz i grew up with them,n there's so much love that i really missed...n dulu2,i frequently dreamt of her,almost every week,i dunno wat do they mean,mayb it's bcoz i really miss them...tp skrg dah jrg,jrg sgt2,adakah maksudnya dah semakin dilupakan?harapnya tidak...

ok,melalut pnjg pulak,tp sbnrnya there's more to tell about this matter...n bole bg cth lagik utk my DIAGNOSIS tu,ala,cuma diagnosis bbudak medik yg tgh eager nak diagnose diri sendiri je...haha

ok2,dah2,nak studi psm...